In Madonna’s song, “Take a Bow,” there’s one line that stands out to me. It’s nothing more than a question that she poses, but I think it speaks volumes. She asks, “Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around?" I’ve always loved this line because I think it implies a hidden truth that most people who have been in a relationship could relate to at one point or another.

You know the kind of person that deserves to be asked that question. It’s the person that will tell you absolutely anything you want to hear when they think no one else is listening. It’s the person who’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear in private, but won’t even be seen holding hands with you in public. It’s the person who’ll make empty promises when they need something, but gets sudden amnesia when they get what they want. It’s the person who will treat you like royalty and shower you with kindness when no one is looking, but won’t even acknowledge you when a better offer comes along.

Most of us have wanted to ask this question, and some of us may even be the person others have wanted to ask it to. I know I’ve wanted to ask that question to people I’ve dated plenty of times before. What’s the sense in pretending and leading people on? Say what you mean, and mean what you say—otherwise, don’t waste your breath.